Foster Care -- Euphoria

Euphoria: a mental and emotional condition in which a person experiences intense feelings of well being, elation, happiness, ecstasy, excitement and joy.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. Roy and I have spent the past month and a half prepping out home and family for the various home studies that we have been having in preparation for our upcoming arrival of our foster child(ren). It took a full month and a half to get ready for this last one.

What did we have to do? Name something that could possibly hurt/injure/make a child sick in -any- way shape or form and we had to childproof for it. We had a seven page long typed check list we had to comply to. However, I am not really complaining. We knew going in that this would come, and I kinda welcomed it as a step along the way to our goal.

Just to name a few:

Gates at the top and the bottom of the stairs = holes in my walls.

Outlet covers on -every- outlet. Even the ones a kid can't get to.

Cord windups on -every- window that has blinds.

Locks on our freezer.

All sorts of things locked up. Ridiculously expensive ($5 per lock!) Tot-Loc magnetic adult-proof locks on many cupboards and drawers (more holes in my cupboards) to house the long list of things that have to be locked away (it was either the expensive locks or purchase locking boxes for everything), such as:

Sharp stuff. Things like:
scissors
knives
pocket knives
peelers
apple cutters
pocket knives
Fingernail clippers
Anything that says keep out of reach of children. Things like:
toothpaste
lotions
Nivea Chapstick (really?)
nail polish remover
all medicines
all cleaning products
candles
baby stuff (lotions, shampoos, etc.)
sunscreen
bug spray
face cleanser
hand sanitzer
hair care products
various first aid treatment stuff
We had to purchase a big ol' metal locking cabinet for the garage to house the:
fertilizers
rodent/weed/bug poison
paint
more sharp stuff
extra cleaning supplies
and
all sorts of stuff in the garage that could be hazardous

Water heater between 105-120 degrees. No more scalding showers for Roy.

Earthquake straps (more holes in my walls) on tall furniture (something we should have on anyway seeing as we live in earthquake land).

Bedroom prepped with a bed and an empty dresser. That was feat in and of itself. The extra bedroom was a craft/storage room and was just full of stuff. It took weeks to clear it out and figure out where all the stuff needed to go. Everything is now all pretty and organized and all that stuff has a new home. Yay!

Window clings on the glass sliding door -- so that no one walks into it (yeah, like that is going to happen -- the glass only stays clean for a few minutes after I clean it -- you can definitely tell that it is there).

An extensive first aid kit.

I could go on and on, but I won't. You get the idea. The social worker put it this way. Imagine Thing One and Thing Two from the story "The Cat in the Hat". Pretend they are in your house. Yeah. That is what we have to prepare for.

So, yesterday was the big day. Our social worker came over for our third home study. The big one. The one where she goes over THE checklist. Roy and I really had worked hard so that we would pass it the first time. We did. She was surprised how well we complied, and how we had met (and exceeded) every requirement. She stated that she almost always has to schedule and additional visit, but that we passed without a hitch. We now officially meet the standards set by LA county. All we have left now it to finish our last two all day long classes and then we will be certified. Woo hoo!

Then we just have to wait for the phone call. Who knows when that will come.

Now I am super anxious. I wasn't before. I have had something to keep me busy for the past month and a half. I have continually had a checklist. I have been organizing and cleaning. There has always been something to do to get ready. Now we are. So therein lies the problem. I am done with the checklist. Now I am anxious. I worry. I ponder the state of the child(ren) at the moment. Are they safe? Cold? Hungry? Hurt?

I get sick just thinking about it.

The last class we had was pretty hard. We covered a lot of physical and sexual abuse stuff. That is normally a difficult topic. It was way worse watching videos and discussing it in detail. I cried a good portion of the way home. Hard stuff. It is hard to put ourselves in their shoes. In a way, I don't want to know the horrible things they are suffering through. I know that I need to so that I can help them grieve/cope/adapt. I just have such a hard time with the fact that someone can neglect/abuse a child in that way.

I pray for he/she/them daily. I pray they had a hot meal tonight. That they had somewhere to sleep. That their mom wasn't high. That their dad wasn't drunk and decided to not do things he may be tempted to do.

I just keep reminding myself that in order to make my family more complete, omeone elses has to be ripped apart. Not a pretty thing. I wish it didn't have to be that way.

Two weeks until certification.

Excited.

Nervous,

Worried.

Anxious.

Giddy with the prospect.

Scared of what behaviors/problems may be attached.

Hoping that the time passes quickly.

Hoping even more that we get a placement sooner rather than a few months later.